Hi there,

I would personally re-write them differently. But, since you asked me to pick:

1st section: 1st bullet point

2nd section: 2nd bullet

3rd section: 3rd bullet (remove the articles the “the” and “a” though)

Hi Richardson,

I would be happy to share my thoughts on your question:

• First of all, the second and third line seem to look fine, without knowing the whole resume.
• However, I am slightly irritated about the first line which seems to be the “organization and role” line, where you also listed accomplishments or at least an objective. In such a rare case where your work experience included only one major task, perhaps it would make sense to add a line below the first line, without bullets or bold, and describe your overall tasks and accomplishments there.

If you would like a more detailed discussion on your specific situation, please don't hesitate to contact me directly.

Best,

Hagen

(editiert)

Hi there

These are a good start, but they are a bit too dry. I would stick with fewer bullet points, but provide more granularity. For instance, we never get to understand ‘what’ you actually did to achieve that impact. There is also a bit too much repetition with ‘led’. They also come across as being overly / forcefully quantified (i.e., numbers everywhere) whereas they should be used more sporadically for the best effect. 

Best,
Cristian

Hi there,

1. First
2. Second
3. Third

However, you could also rewrite/combine some of the versions for a better effect/impact.

Cheers,

Florian

Hi there,

Difficult to provide any advice without knowing what you exactly did. Happy to keep talking about this in private, just send me a message.

Best,

Alberto

—

Check out my latest case based on a real MBB interview: Sierra Springs