I like what you wrote in general. Two general points:
Firstly, why not write Assessed current state… instead of Performed current state assessment…?
The trick is to use the strong action words. You can find lists on the internet and make sure that the word that occupies the most expensive real estate, which is the left-most spot on the line, is going to demonstrate the skills you want.
Secondly, for generalist firms (like MBB), the context typically matters much less than you think it does. Meaning, it matters less that it’s a core banking system replacement vs. a minor new feature addition. The point is that you’re assessing current state. So I wouldn’t necessarily use the space to describe the system details. Rather, I’d say …and recommended key system requirements to leadership. (Of course, if your banking system expertise is critical for the role, this is not true.)
So how about, Assessed current state and recommended key system requirements to leadership?
Hope this helps!
Allen
I like what you wrote in general. Two general points:
Firstly, why not write Assessed current state… instead of Performed current state assessment…?
The trick is to use the strong action words. You can find lists on the internet and make sure that the word that occupies the most expensive real estate, which is the left-most spot on the line, is going to demonstrate the skills you want.
Secondly, for generalist firms (like MBB), the context typically matters much less than you think it does. Meaning, it matters less that it’s a core banking system replacement vs. a minor new feature addition. The point is that you’re assessing current state. So I wouldn’t necessarily use the space to describe the system details. Rather, I’d say …and recommended key system requirements to leadership. (Of course, if your banking system expertise is critical for the role, this is not true.)
So how about, Assessed current state and recommended key system requirements to leadership?
Hope this helps!
Allen
Prepped and Primed 
