How to coffee chat

hey :)

Most senior managers are simply flooded with messages, so it’s normal not to hear back. The easiest way is to keep it very short, very specific, and make it as easy as possible for them to say yes. Mention a concrete reason why you’re reaching out, one clear question you would love their view on, and propose two time slots. People respond much more when they feel it’s not an open-ended “can we chat?” but a tiny, low-effort ask.

Often it also helps to start with consultants or managers in the same practice or geography, and then get warm intros to seniors. Cold messaging senior managers rarely works, even inside the firm.

If you want, send me your message and I can help you tweak it.
best, Alessa :)

Hi there,

Totally normal as senior managers get swamped, so low response rates aren’t a reflection of you. A couple things that usually help:

• Keep it super short and specific (why you’re reaching out + one clear question).
• Mention something concrete you’re curious about (their project type, career path, practice focus).
• Follow up once after a week — light and friendly.

You’re not doing anything wrong; it’s mostly a volume and timing game. Try to attend any in-person events as well, where stickiness is higher.

Hi there,

I think it would help to clarify why you would like to chat with them, as they probably don't have a lot of time. Alternatively, you could propose to help them on tasks or a project that you also find interesting for you. That way you would get to spend time together, you could learn from them and they would be more inclined to have a chat with you since you have helped them out. Sometimes building strong relationships and mutual trust takes time and effort but then it's worth it! 

Hi there,

The easiest way to get responses is to build common ground first — people are much more likely to reply if they see a clear connection. A few things that work well:

1. Start with someone you share something with

• Same university or business school
• Same country or city
• Same previous employer or industry
• Same interest group, club or alumni network

These contacts are far more likely to accept a quick chat.

2. Keep the ask small and specific
Instead of “Can we have a coffee chat?”, try:
“Would you have 10–15 minutes for a quick call to hear your experience in X practice?”
This feels lighter and respectful of their time.

3. Personalize each message
Two lines about who you are, one line about the shared link you noticed, and one line asking for a short chat — nothing more. People ignore generic long messages.

4. Target a mix of levels
Senior Managers are often too busy to respond.
Try Associates, Consultants or EMs — they reply far more often and can give you very practical insights.

If you want, I can help you draft a message that gets a higher reply rate.

Best,
Evelina

Hi! 

I wrote a guide exactly on this topic. Have a read through it and let me know if you have any follow-up questions:

• Expert Guide: How To Handle Networking Calls and Get Referrals

Best,
Cristian

Why senior managers? These are the most busy.

Go for more junior ranks, people with whom you can relate more directly (and that may be more willing to give you some 30 mins of their time).

To have a coffee chat... you need a compelling reason. Can't be "because I think I need coffee chats to be noticed in order to get an interview". Have a reason why you want to hear about their perspective.

Senior managers get a lot of these messages and most of them look identical. That is the problem.

Make it specific to them. Not their firm or practice area. Something you actually read, watched, or noticed about their specific path. One real detail changes everything.

Keep it short. Three to four sentences. If they have to scroll, you have lost them.

Ask for ten minutes, not thirty. Lower ask, higher reply rate.

Do not mention referrals or career advice in the first message. Just ask for the conversation.

And follow up once after a week. A lot of replies come from the follow up, not the first message.