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How to keep regular contact with people you networked with and deepen relationship?

New answer on Jun 09, 2020
7 Answers
Anonymous A asked on Jun 07, 2020

Hi, I'd like to seek advice on networking. In order to find a good referrer and also build industry connections, I did a lot of cold mailing and networking with people working in consulting.

However, even though the conversation went on well, I do not know how to maintain/deepen the relationship. I find it odd to contact people again without having a specific purpose or request. I would imagine the potential referrer thinking like: "I've already given him career advice, why is he contacting me again?"

Could anyone provide some good tips to cook/foster a relationship with people working in the consulting industry? Also, what would be some good topic/agenda of the second coffee chat, and what would be a good period to contact again?

Thank you!

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Anonymous replied on Jun 08, 2020


It really depends on the individual.

However, as David said, strategy consulting employees (even sometimes alumni) usually get a fair amount of compensation if a candidate got accepted. As such, I would recommend to go straight to the point and say that you are interested in working with the firm and would like to ask for a referral. He / she usually will ask for your CV and when you send it you can also ask for an opportunity for a short case mock interview.

In the case that your CV is strong, there is a posibility that he / she will try to test your case interview skill and if it is also strong. You will definitely get a referral (with the exception of hiring freeze)

So all in all, improve your CV and brush up your case interview skill to make every opportunities that you get count.

Hope this helps :)

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Anonymous replied on Jun 07, 2020


Consultants like people who are straight to the point. I therefore advise you to no to wrap a request in a fairly general and confusing message. If you had a good contact with a person you can ask him if he would be ready to refer you or not, leaving him all the leisure to say no if he is not comfortable because he does not know you well enough. Also, do not forget that when a referenced candidate is hired, the referrer receives a fairly nice bonus (up to € 5,000 depending on the seniority of the candidate).


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Content Creator
replied on Jun 08, 2020
McKinsey | Awarded professor at Master in Management @ IE | MBA at MIT |+180 students coached | Integrated FIT Guide aut


Honestly, these people are super super busy, so they would appreciate you going to the point.

Don´t try to have several touchpoints, but to be very efficent in the first one.

They know that a referral is what you are looking for in any case.

Hope it helps!



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Content Creator
updated an answer on Jun 08, 2020
#1 Coach for Sessions (4.500+) | 1.500+ 5-Star Reviews | Proven Success (➡ | Ex BCG | 10Y+ Coaching

Hi there,

the strategy I used for networking is actually different. To me the goal of the call is not to create a connection and then to maintain the relationship, but to get a referral.

When I was unable to connect enough to generate a referral after the call, I considered the call unsuccessful in terms of referrals and look for a new connection.

It doesn’t mean you cannot get a referral working on creating a connection and maintaining a relationship for months, but I see it as an unnecessary step. If you follow the right script, you can get it right after the call.

In my case it worked well and I managed to get six referrals and six invitations. I would recommend you try to do the same in your next calls.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you should ask for the referral directly – you should use the right closing question in the call. One of the main mistakes I see people do in networking is to either not have a closing question or have a wrong one.

In case you need further help with referrals, please feel free to PM me.




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Content Creator
replied on Jun 09, 2020
McKinsey | NASA | top 10 FT MBA professor for consulting interviews | 6+ years of coaching

Hi, I recommend contacting them again only when you have a clear target in mind. Once you have created the first touch it is not useful to text them more than once per year. When you will need a referral you can text them again and carefully ask for it


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Content Creator
replied on Jun 09, 2020
#1 BCG coach | MBB | Tier 2 | Digital, Tech, Platinion | 100% personal success rate (8/8) | 95% candidate success rate

1. Do not ask for a referral.

I disagree with some other answers and think it is extremely rude to directly ask for a referral.

Rather, you can indirectly ask by letting them know you are now looking to apply for the firm and will be submitting the application soon. If they want to refer you, they will offer. If they don't, they won't. Asking will only hurt you

2. These are not your friends/deep connections and they never will be.

I'm sorry, but they're incredibly busy and they don't care. I've talked to hundreds of people interested in consulting and while I genuinely liked many and wish them well, Im sorry to say I forgot about them and did not want to be contacted again....this obviously doesn't apply to those that I've coached as we spent hours and hours together, not 30 minutes on a random coffee chat!

You get a chance to "re-connect" once, and that's to let them know you have applied or will apply soon.

3. True networking isn't a 30 minute coffee chat, a linkedin connection, or a business card

Your real network is those who you have worked with, sutdied with, consulted for, etc. Trying to get a referral is a numbers game and depends on you hopping across contacts and aiming to make an impression...

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Anonymous replied on Jun 09, 2020

Dear A,

In general I have a rule that I try to congratulate my contacts with Birthdays, public Holidays or new promotions. And thus I'm trying to be in touch with them on a regular basis, at least once or twice per year, which normally guarantees high success rates when I approaching them for the business matter next time.

Hope, it helps you,

Wish you best of luck,


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