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Help me review this McKinsey response!

What significant challenge have you had to overcome in your life? How did you overcome it and what was the outcome?

My answer:

A graded industrial attachment in the third year of study is mandatory in my faculty. A relevant internship in a relevant position carries a lot of weight. Being pioneer students poses unique challenges, such as companies not being clear on what the coursework prepares students for. Due to time constraints, I only applied to target companies, one of them was Chandaria Business Innovation and Incubation Center (CBIIC). CBIIC responded and made it clear that they only hired industry professionals to serve as business mentors. I knew that arguing from an experience point of view would not work. Instead, I formed a case along the lines of the novelty of the course, its relevance to the future of the nation and was keen to align it with the objectives of the organization. I visited the organization severally before getting a meeting with the director. After three weeks, I got a meeting and pitched my idea. The next day, his administrative assistant called me with an offer. What’s more, he asked me to bring on board more students who would be interested in interning there. I got really amazing feedback from the director when my professor visited to assess me at the end of the internship. He praised my communication skills, proactivity, problem-solving, and negotiation skills. Also, I got an A in the industrial unit.

Here is What I am Looking For

  1. Is it interesting?
  2. Do you consider this a good example of a challenge?
  3. Does it clearly show (brief background of situation - challenge - approach - outcome)
  4. Does it qualify for a short paragraph?
  5. Does it get to the point without going off tangents?

A speedy comprehensive response will be appreciated. Do your best to answer the question I have posed. 

Thanks.

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Beste Antwort
Serhat
Coach
am 26. Apr. 2019
BCG | Kellogg MBA |82% Success rate| 450+ case interview| 5+ year consulting | 30+ projects in ~10 countries

Hi there,

It is a good starting point. Also, your assessment questions are good to assess the quality of your answer. Considering the main point to answer this question is explaining how did you faced the challenge and solved problems, you may want to give another example. 

Cheers

Serhat

Vlad
Coach
am 26. März 2019
McKinsey / Accenture Alum / Got all BIG3 offers / Harvard Business School

Hi,

1) Any story about getting a job is not an interesting achievement unless you make it completely out of the box. Check the movie "The pursuit of happiness" - its a great example

2) No - not clear why it's important for you, no drama, no big impact

3) I would add 1 sentence summary in the beginning. Also clearly state actions - 1,2,3

4) Don't understand the question

5) Kind of

Best

am 27. März 2019
Hey Vlad! Thank you for your comment. I will make some changes or maybe come up with another story then send it here.
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