Networking questions

Hi there,

I would not read "apply through the site" as a brush off. From what I've heard from candidates, the portal submission is usually required either way and the referral is attached to it separately, so that sentence is often a description of the mechanics rather than a polite exit. What you do in the two minutes after it matters more than how you read it: say that you will apply this week, and ask whether they would be willing to flag your name internally once the application is in.

On your other two questions:

• I would book 30 minutes and aim to finish in 20. The person is fitting you between meetings, and ending a call early is one of the few signals of judgment you can send before anyone has seen your CV.
• I wouldn't start with partners. A referral only does work if the referrer can say something concrete about you, and a partner rarely has the 20 minutes that produces something concrete. I would target the level I am applying to and the level just above it, where reply rates are higher and where the person was in the process recently enough to tell you what changed this cycle.
• I would only ask directly if the conversation earned it, and I would not ask it as a yes or no question. Ask what they would need from you to feel comfortable putting your name forward. That gives them a graceful exit if the answer is no, and gives you a list if the answer is yes.

The test of a coffee chat is not whether a referral was offered. It is whether that person could now describe one concrete thing about your work to a colleague. A conversation that clears that test is worth more than three that ended in a polite promise.

Plan for 20–30 minutes and tell the person upfront that you will respect the time. If the conversation is useful, they can always extend it.

Start with consultants and managers near the level you are targeting. They usually have recent recruiting experience and can describe the work in detail. A partner can be valuable when you have a specific reason to contact them, but seniority alone does not make the conversation better.

Do not make every coffee chat a referral request. First, have a useful conversation and show why your background fits. If the discussion goes well, you can ask once: “Would you feel comfortable referring me, or would you recommend that I apply directly?” If they say apply through the website, accept that answer, apply, and send a brief thank-you update.

hey there :)

I’d aim for around 20 to 30 minutes for a coffee chat. It’s enough time to have a proper conversation without making it feel like a formal interview. For networking, I wouldn’t only contact people at your target level. Partners can be great for getting a broader view and potentially helping with recruiting, while consultants and managers are often easier to connect with and can give you more detailed insight into the actual day to day.

I also wouldn’t ask for a referral as a rule at the end of every call. If the conversation went well, you can ask something simple like “Do you think my profile could be a good fit, and would you feel comfortable referring me?” If they say to apply through the website, just do that and don’t push it. Sometimes that’s simply their preference, and you can still keep the relationship warm.

best,
Alessa :)

For the coffee chat itself, book 30 minutes and aim to finish in 20. Don't only contact Partners; consultants and managers are often easier to reach and can still refer you.

You do not ask "can you refer me" at the end. If they were going to, now they will be turned off by your lack of tact. Rather, you can "hint" at one (step f below) by saying something along the lines of "This has been so helpful. Thank you so much for your time. I will definitely be apply in the coming weeks - do you have any advice for me?"

Make sure to also "play tag" (step e) and get put in touch with someone else (i.e. preventing a dead end).

Feel free to reach out to discuss a bit further (verbalizing is a bit better than just writing steps), but I recommend the following:

a) Reach out to people in your network

b) Reach out to people once removed from your network

c) Reach out to people with a similar backgorund to you (i.e. same alma mater, same historically underrepresented demographic i.e. gender, orientation, ethnicity, etc., same career switch, etc.)

d) Tailor a message to them specifically both showing interest in them and their journey and demonstrating that you have done your research and could be a valuable hire

e) Play "tag" across calls you get so that you can work your way towards the company/office/role you want

f) Never directly ask for a referral, but "hint" at needing one (this is nuanced and important...happy to talk through wording)

We're literally just covering the surface now. I highly recommend my Applications Course, which dives into all things networking, outreach, coffee chats, referrals, and application strategy.