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Maintaining a relationship as a junior consultant

Hi everyone!

I know this is a very personal question and can vary so much but I thought someone might have useful advice. I am starting at MBB very soon and have a wonderful relationship going on that I want to keep. My Partner works in banking so also very long hours and understands.

In the beginning, I am aware I will be stressed, tired and maybe complain. Combined with long hours/traveling, it can put a strain. Has anyone been in a similar position and what helped you get over the initial tough months? 

Again, I am probably jumping the gun here and worrying unnecessary but any thoughts would be super appreciated.

Best of luck to anyone applying or preparing too!

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Top answer
Clara
Coach
on Feb 12, 2020
McKinsey | Awarded professor at Master in Management @ IE | MBA at MIT |+180 students coached | Integrated FIT Guide aut

Hello!

Only the fact that you realise that this may/will be a problem speaks good about you!

Indeed, this kind of jobs put a lot of pressure in relationships. However, many many survive -despite what the leyends tell-. Given that your partner works in IB, at least he/she will understand. 

There are no golden rules or advises for this, but one that could help is to try to keep a holy schedule for you guys (e.g., your dinners on X night, keeping your tradition of Y and Z, etc.). What is really hard is to see how consulting "takes over everything" (e.g., your sport time, your sleeping time...) and this way you can ensure to keep what´s really important for your relation. 

Good luck with that!

Best, 

Clara

Deleted user
on Feb 12, 2020

1) Organization. You'll be on the road a lot and so will only have a day or two together, so make sure you have nice stuff planned on weekends beyond just drinking or sitting at home and watching movies. The nice thing about consulting is you make loads of money and don't spend it, so take the opportunity to explore your city. Weekend travel and flying them out to you, if on a travel project, is great for this.

2) Expectations on communications. Do you talk on the phone every night before bed? Every second night? Do you text during the day, or no? Make sure both of you are aligned on that

3) Going offline. Both of you will tend toward checking your phone constantly for email or talking about your project. Don't. Or at least discuss how to do that ahead of time. Phones on the table at restaurants, yes or no? While watching TV? When you meet up, consider having the first 20 minutes be work-related, then not.

4) Keeping healthy. This is more than just relationship, but it takes conscious effort to exercise, sleep enough, and eat relatively healthy when you start consulting. If you're stressed, tired, and aren't eating well or exercising, your relationship will bear the brunt of this. Talk to your colleagues how they keep healthy, and see what you can learn from that. Maybe that's a weekly class with your partner, maybe that's skipping work team dinners or Friday drinks now and then so get some sleep. 

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Emily
Coach
on Sep 01, 2020
9 years in MBB Southeast Asia & China| 8 years as MBB interviewer | Free intro call

Hi,

Totally understand the concern, but at the same time want to tell you it is manageable, especially because your partner also works long hours. Both my partner and me work in consulting (we met in consulting actually). The fact that both of us having long hours in a way helps us in understanding each other's needs and constraints better. That said, do try to make sure you have time to connect with each other at least for 20-30 mins at the end of the day. Set aside some time on Friday night or the weekend to enjoy quality time without work interfering you guys.

Good luck.

Emily

Ian
Coach
edited on Feb 13, 2020
Top US BCG / MBB Coach - 5,000 sessions |Tech, Platinion, Big 4 | 9/9 personal interviews passed | 95% candidate success

The short answer is I know many many people at MBB that maintain relationships, families, etc. I also know it's tough but many make it work. Make sure to leverage the company support resources (and colleagues you trust) in navigating these waters as well!

Gaurav
Coach
on Mar 01, 2021
#1 MBB Coach(Placed 750+ in MBBs & 1250+ in Tier2)| The Only 360° coach(Ex-McKinsey+Certified Coach+Active recruiter)

Hi there, 

unfortunately, the work-life balance in consulting is not always in your favour, but you can make it happen. 

What I recommend is to finish all you pending tasks before starting at MBB, so at least for the first time you will be able to concentrate on your work completely. 

After that, what helps is: 

  • right prioritization
  • routine
  • time-management
  • planning your free-time and different activities. 

Hope that helps!

Cheers, GB

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