Not getting responses from LinkedIn outreach or post-event follow-ups — what am I doing wrong?

Question

Hi everyone,

I’ve been actively trying to network for consulting roles, but I’m running into a consistent issue and would really appreciate some guidance.

Here’s what I’ve been doing:
1. Reaching out to my school’s alumni on LinkedIn
2. Personalizing each connection request (mentioning their background, shared school, or interest in their work)
3. Keeping messages concise and polite

I want to build a genuine relationship not just for referrals.

However, I’m facing two main problems:

A large number of people are not accepting my connection requests at all
Even when they do accept, I often don’t receive a reply to my follow-up message

Additionally, I attended McKinsey office hours where consultants shared their emails and encouraged us to reach out. I followed up with a short, thoughtful email, but haven’t received a response there either.

At this point, I’m unsure whether:

This is normal and just a numbers game
My messaging might be off in some way
Or if I’m missing something fundamental in how I approach networking

I’d really appreciate any advice, especially from those who have successfully networked into consulting roles or have experience responding to outreach.

Thank you!

Answer 1

Hi,

This is much more normal than it feels — I wouldn’t read it as “you’re doing something fundamentally wrong.”

I’ve been on both sides (sending these messages and receiving them), and the honest truth is: even well-written outreach often gets ignored. People are busy, and networking messages are low priority.

That said, there are a couple of patterns I see all the time that explain low response rates.

First, most messages are “personalized”… but still feel generic.
Something like “I saw your background and would love to learn about your experience” is polite, but it doesn’t give the other person a clear reason to reply. They’ve seen that exact message many times.

Second, the ask is often too vague.
If I have to think “what exactly does this person want from me?”, I’m less likely to respond. The easier you make it, the better.

Third, people underestimate follow-ups.
A simple, polite follow-up after ~5–7 days often gets replies that didn’t come the first time.

What tends to work better (at least from what I’ve seen):

Be very concrete and low-effort in your ask.
Instead of “would love to learn about your experience,” try something like:
“I’m currently preparing for consulting interviews — would you be open to a quick 15-min chat on how you approached case prep at [firm]?”

Now it’s clear, specific, and easy to say yes or no.

Same for post-event emails. The ones that get replies usually reference something specific from the session and then ask one focused question. Generic “thanks, would love to connect” emails are easy to ignore.

Also, don’t worry too much about “building a relationship” in the first message. That comes later. At the start, it’s really about starting a simple conversation.

If I had to simplify it:
it’s partly a numbers game, but small tweaks matter — be specific, make the ask easy, and follow up once.

You’re probably closer than you think. If you want, I’m happy to look at one of your actual messages — usually a few small changes make a noticeable difference.

Best,

Soheil

Answer 2

Hey Anonymous,

It is a numbers game. From my side, I can give you two benchmarks so you can better evaluate whether you are being more/less effective than the average:

The typical message-to-coffee-chat rate is fairly low, around 10-15%
The average time from the first message to the actual coffee chat is close to 3-4 weeks

Echoing Soheil's great answer, most messages fail because they are too general or very broad, you should mention that you are looking for a 15-min coffee chat.

In any case, if you are significantly below these benchmarks, I suggest you A/B test your messages -- try to mix it up (more vs. less formal, mentioning shared background vs. mentioning something you read on their profile, etc.).

Good luck!

Tom

Answer 3

Sorry to hear about this.

I actually wrote a material specifically on this:

• • Expert Guide: How To Get Referrals Via LinkedIn?

What I'd do differently, from what you described, is that I would send connect requests without a message. The messages makes it look like you want to sell them something and the accept rate is lower.

Rather send them a message once they accepted your request.

And yes, it is a numbers game. But people will answer.

If you need help with this, reach out.

Best,
Cristian