Not getting responses from LinkedIn outreach or post-event follow-ups — what am I doing wrong?

Hi,

This is much more normal than it feels — I wouldn’t read it as “you’re doing something fundamentally wrong.”

I’ve been on both sides (sending these messages and receiving them), and the honest truth is: even well-written outreach often gets ignored. People are busy, and networking messages are low priority.

That said, there are a couple of patterns I see all the time that explain low response rates.

First, most messages are “personalized”… but still feel generic.
Something like “I saw your background and would love to learn about your experience” is polite, but it doesn’t give the other person a clear reason to reply. They’ve seen that exact message many times.

Second, the ask is often too vague.
If I have to think “what exactly does this person want from me?”, I’m less likely to respond. The easier you make it, the better.

Third, people underestimate follow-ups.
A simple, polite follow-up after ~5–7 days often gets replies that didn’t come the first time.

What tends to work better (at least from what I’ve seen):

Be very concrete and low-effort in your ask.
Instead of “would love to learn about your experience,” try something like:
“I’m currently preparing for consulting interviews — would you be open to a quick 15-min chat on how you approached case prep at [firm]?”

Now it’s clear, specific, and easy to say yes or no.

Same for post-event emails. The ones that get replies usually reference something specific from the session and then ask one focused question. Generic “thanks, would love to connect” emails are easy to ignore.

Also, don’t worry too much about “building a relationship” in the first message. That comes later. At the start, it’s really about starting a simple conversation.

If I had to simplify it:
it’s partly a numbers game, but small tweaks matter — be specific, make the ask easy, and follow up once.

You’re probably closer than you think. If you want, I’m happy to look at one of your actual messages — usually a few small changes make a noticeable difference.

Best,

Soheil

My honest take - The consultants you are messaging receive many identical outreach messages every week from candidates they have never met. They know the goal is a referral. You know the goal is a referral. Pretending otherwise doesn't make you stand out...

Reality as highlighted by others is that low response rates are normal. Consultants are exhausted, on flights, on client sites, and your message is competing with their actual workload. Most don't reply not because your message is bad, but because replying to cold outreach is not on their priority list. 

Your focus should be on getting your foot in the door, not building rapport in the real sense. Something to think about: 

- Go direct to email: LinkedIn requests are easy to ignore and slow. Work emails are harder to ignore and get read. Most firms use predictable email formats (firstname.lastname@firm.com, or firstname_lastname@firm.com). A short, direct email to an alumni work address would potentially have a higher response rate than a LinkedIn request.

- Be honest about what you want: Do not pretend that you are interested in their journey unless you genuinely are - A short message saying that you went to this school and that you are targeting the firm because of X, Y,  Z reasons works well and asking for a call for guidance. This is more effective than three paragraphs of warmth. Consultants respect directness

- I think numbers game is already clear to you - Aim for 50–80 targeted outreaches, not 10 perfect ones. The math is simple,  even a 5–10% conversion to a real conversation is enough..

Bottom line: you are not missing anything fundamental about networking - you are just running the polite version of the playbook in a market that responds to the direct version. Reframe this as a sales process, not a relationship-building exercise. Get the referral. The relationship comes after you are inside the firm, not before.

Hey Anonymous,

It is a numbers game. From my side, I can give you two benchmarks so you can better evaluate whether you are being more/less effective than the average:

1. The typical message-to-coffee-chat rate is fairly low, around 10-15%
2. The average time from the first message to the actual coffee chat is close to 3-4 weeks

Echoing Soheil's great answer, most messages fail because they are too general or very broad, you should mention that you are looking for a 15-min coffee chat.

In any case, if you are significantly below these benchmarks, I suggest you A/B test your messages -- try to mix it up (more vs. less formal, mentioning shared background vs. mentioning something you read on their profile, etc.).

Good luck!

Tom

This is very normal — you’re not doing anything fundamentally wrong.

A few things to keep in mind:

1. It’s largely a numbers game
Even well-written messages get ignored. People are busy, traveling, or just don’t prioritize LinkedIn.
Low response rates are standard.

2. Don’t overinterpret silence
No reply ≠ bad message.
It often just means:

• they forgot
• they intended to reply later
• your message wasn’t urgent enough

Same for post-event emails — response rates are usually low.

3. Keep it very easy to say yes
This is where you can improve slightly.

Instead of:
“I’d love to learn more about your experience”

Try:
“Would you be open to a quick 15-min chat next week?”

Be specific and low effort.

4. Follow up once (briefly)
A short follow-up after ~5–7 days is completely fine. Many people reply only after that.

5. Don’t aim for “relationship” immediately
First step is just:

• get a reply
• have a short conversation

The relationship comes later.

Overall, you’re probably overthinking it a bit.
What you’re experiencing is just how networking works.

Keep doing what you’re doing, maybe tighten the ask slightly, and increase volume. That’s usually what makes the difference.

Most of what you're seeing is normal. Consultants get 10-20 cold messages a week. Even good ones get ignored. Don't take it personally.

A few things that will change your hit rate.

Connection requests: Send with a note, under 300 characters, one specific thing about them. Skip "I saw you went to X" openers. Try "Your piece on retail M&A stood out, would love to learn how you ended up in that practice." People accept when you sound curious, not needy.

Follow-up message: Keep it to 4 lines. One line on why you're reaching out. One specific question tied to their experience. One ask for a 15-20 minute chat. Don't mention referrals. Don't attach your CV. Don't list your background.

Office hours emails: These have a 10-20% reply rate. Email within 24 hours while they remember you. Reference something specific from the session. Keep it short.

Volume: Send 30-40 quality messages a week, not 5. Expect 20-30% response rate at best. That's normal.

One more thing. Consultants respond to people who seem interesting, not people who seem desperate. Lead with curiosity about their work, not your job search.

Sorry to hear about this. 

I actually wrote a material specifically on this:

• • Expert Guide: How To Get Referrals Via LinkedIn?

What I'd do differently, from what you described, is that I would send connect requests without a message. The messages makes it look like you want to sell them something and the accept rate is lower.

Rather send them a message once they accepted your request. 

And yes, it is a numbers game. But people will answer. 

If you need help with this, reach out. 

Best,
Cristian 

Hi there,

This is a numbers game... but more importantly, it's about doing it right.

Here's what actually works:

a) Reach out to people in your network first

b) Reach out to people once removed from your network

c) Reach out to people with a similar background to you (i.e. same alma mater, same historically underrepresented demographic, same career switch, etc.) ... these are your warmest cold contacts

d) Tailor every single message ... show genuine interest in them and their journey, and demonstrate that you have done your research and could be a valuable hire

e) Play "tag" across calls you get ... use every conversation to get introduced to the next person. Work your way toward the company, office, and role you want

f) Never directly ask for a referral. Hint at needing one. (This is nuanced and important ... happy to walk through the exact wording)

Not getting responses means something about your message or approach needs to change. That's very hard to self-diagnose. Get a coach to review your exact outreach template and tell you what's wrong ... that's worth 10x more than any tip list.

Happy to help: Book a session here

Also: The Complete MBB Applications Course covers networking strategy end to end.

And search The Consulting Offer Blueprint on Spotify or Apple Podcasts for the broader mindset on this.

hello! 

this is very normal, you’re not doing something fundamentally wrong. even strong candidates often get low response rates, especially when reaching out to firms like McKinsey & Company where people are just very busy. think of it as a numbers game, but with a few tweaks you can improve a lot.

the main issue is usually that messages are “polite but generic”. people reply when it feels easy and specific. instead of asking broadly for a chat, anchor it tightly: role, timeline, and one concrete question. for example: “I’m applying to X office this month and saw your path from Y to Z. I’d love to get your 2 min view on how you positioned your experience for interviews.” that feels quick to answer.

also lower the ask. instead of “15 min call”, start with “would love your quick perspective via message, or happy to jump on a short call if easier”. this increases replies a lot.

for events and emails, one follow up after ~5 days is completely fine. many just forget. keep it light and don’t over explain.

and one important shift: focus less on “building a relationship” upfront and more on being specific and easy to help. the relationship comes after a good first interaction.

best,
Alessa :)