Dinner with Partner- Questions on how to connect

Hi there,

What a fantastic opportunity!

I've been to a few of these - they're 100% nerveracking, but please remember a few things :)

1. Everyone else (except the partner) is nervous
2. The Partner wants you to have a good time
3. Yes, sure, you're being “evaluated” but also not as much as you think
4. Don't do anything you wouldn't do with someone's parents (smack your lips, drink too much, be rude/boisterous, etc.)
5. But also, which person do you know gets along with everyone's parents? The one who is, yes, respectful, but also themselves. 
6. Allow for natural conversation. Be yourself. Be polite/formal, but yourself
7. Let conversation flow - don't force it
8. Be a human
9. Don't overthink it - like any social gathering!

Hope this helps!

Hi,

I've been to many of these dinners over the many years I've been in consulting, and also tried to avoid them a fair amount of time ;)

Sharing a couple of things:

1. Enjoy the food
   • Arguably some of the most expensive food i've ever eaten were at team dinners sponsored by partners with fine tastes
   • The food (hopefully) should be good - enjoy it!
2. Don't try and impress
   • The dinners are typically a way for the partners to engage with junior teams outside of work
   • A solid performance on your cases (which gets reflected in evaluation committees) will infinitely impress partners more than a team dinner conversation
   • Don't be that guy that tries to schmooze the partner… it is obvious to everyone else :)
3. Be yourself 
   • Be authentic and let the conversation flow naturally
   • Of course you should still maintain some decorum of professionalism, but IMO no point trying to be someone you are not

Have fun!

Hi there,

Depends entirely on the Partner. Some are great at making you feel at easy and lead a conversation, other are quite bad at it and would rather not be at such events in the first place.

That being said, it's a great opportunity and here's my advice:

• Focus on them: If in doubt, keep the conversation focused on them. What all people have in common is their love for talking about themselves. Make sure to ask some questions about their path, current work, etc.
• Don't be smart: People often prepare ‘smart’ questions to sound smart, but the effect is often the opposite. Keep it simple and don't bend over backwards to come up with some really out there questions/talking points.
• Show your character: This is easier for extrovert people, of course. But anyone attending such events should at least give the Partner an idea of who they are (and not what they've done, what they're capable of, etc.). For example, if you're a person with good humor, now is not the time to be shy. Crack some jokes (in good taste) as you normally would!
• Don't be that person: With groups, there's always the risk of having someone trying to hijack the conversation and getting all the attention. Don't be that guy! You really don't have to speak all the time…

Hope this helps a bit. Best of luck!

Moritz

Absolutely, I couldn't agree more. Sometimes the most valuable connections and insights come from genuine, non-work-related conversations. Partners, like everyone else, appreciate a relaxed atmosphere where they can connect with their team members on a personal level. It's an opportunity to get to know each other beyond the confines of the office. So, feel free to initiate casual conversations, share interesting stories, or even discuss common interests. It will not only make the dinner more enjoyable but also help build strong relationships within the team. Having been a partner in the past, I can say that I particularly enjoyed these dinners when they were relaxed and natural. Enjoy the dinner, and let it be a mix of both professional and relaxed interactions!

Hi there,

That's a great opportunity. 

The most important thing is not to overthink it, be normal, be yourself. 

These occasions are just a chance for you to get to know them better and the other way around. It's not about impressing them. That's not going to help with getting an offer, and if anything, it will come across as awkward. 

Do try and brush up on your knowledge of the firm and the role that you're applying for beforehand. 

Here's a guide I wrote about how to conduct coffee chats - the learnings apply also for in-person networking events. Hope you'll find it useful:

• Expert Guide: How To Handle Networking Calls and Get Referrals

Best,
Cristian