I had a great coffee chat with an associate at Blackstone. It went well, but we’ve only spoken once. Do people there typically refer candidates they barely know, or is it better to build the relationship first?
At a firm like Blackstone, referrals are taken seriously, so employees—especially associates—tend to be selective about who they refer. While one strong coffee chat can sometimes be enough, it’s more common for people to refer candidates they’ve built a bit more rapport with or whose backgrounds clearly align with what the firm is looking for. Referring someone is essentially vouching for them, and at a place with such a high bar, most employees won’t do that lightly unless they’re confident you’d reflect well on them.
That said, if your conversation went well, you showed strong understanding of the firm and role, and you made a good personal impression, you’re absolutely in the running. It’s okay to follow up with a thank-you note and mention that you’re very interested in opportunities at the firm—offering your resume and asking if they’d feel comfortable passing it along. If they’re open to it, great. If not, that’s fine too. In either case, it can be worthwhile to keep the relationship warm and stay on their radar for future opportunities.
At firms like Blackstone, referrals tend to carry more weight when they come from someone who knows you beyond just a single conversation. While it’s not impossible to be referred after one strong chat, especially if you made a clear and compelling impression, most professionals will be more comfortable putting their name behind a candidate after a bit more familiarity. This is because referrals are seen as endorsements, and people want to be sure they’re recommending someone who aligns well with the firm’s standards.
That said, if the conversation went really well and you followed up with a thoughtful note, it's completely fine to express your interest and ask if they’d be open to passing along your resume.
If they hesitate, don't take it personally instead, focus on staying in touch, asking smart follow-up questions over time, and building a genuine connection. Sometimes even a second conversation can make the difference between a polite interaction and a referral-worthy relationship.
Honestly, if it was just one conversation, that's a bit of a stretch. Blackstone referrals usually come from people who know you well or have worked with you. A good conversation is helpful, but most will only recommend you if they are confident that you will make a good impression on them. Try to keep in touch and build the relationship a little at first.
