How to maintain / deepen relationship with colleagues?

Question

There's around 50-60 people in my consulting firm. I find it hard to maintain and deepen relationship with so many other colleagues, and people usually go out to lunch in specific groups. I usually go out with 3~4 fixed people. I feel weird if I reach out to other people and invite them to lunch, since the "groups" are already formed. Are there anyways to develop a deeper relationship with colleagues? Thanks!

Answer 1

Hi there,

Interesting question!

I can think about the following:

Remember people's names and small details about them. Will be a good start for the next small talk
Positive energy attracts people. Be open, friendly, and encouraging - you get what you give
Ask for help or offer some yourself - a great way to establish relationship and to show them that you care about what they think or how well they're doing
Take initiative: Create events, invite people to do things together outside of work (sport / hobbies / dinner at your place etc)
If lunch is not an option, there is always a coffee break ;)

Hope it was helpful,

Cheers,

GB

Answer 2

Hey there,

Dont feel pressured to do it for the sake of it. Focus on quality and not quantity. Just by nature there will be some people you naturally get on with- so nurture these relationships as a priority.

There will be some people you sort of know or like, and its worth investing some time & effort on those people. Do one-to-one walks and coffee, lunches and/or other informal settings are super helpful. Am not sure what the COVID situation is in your place and whether close human interaction is possible at this stage. Otherwise virtual coffees are good too.

And get involved in your company social events. Present something over lunch in a brown bag session etc. Be visible generally and people will come to you as well. And slowly they will start involving in their groups too.

Overall, let this happen naturally and dont force. But dont avoid it either.

Answer 3

Hi there,

This is a pretty common problem! Honestly, it's a bit of the firm's fault that they haven't encouraged larger socializing.

I'd recommend a few things:

Recommend to HR more office-wide events
Join any affinity groups that may already exist at the firm (tennis, squash, boardgames, whatever it may be)
Strike up convos in the shared kitchen (I hope there is one). Can't tell you how many strong relationships I've formed from just classic watercooler chat!

Answer 4

Hello!

It´s true that the common thing is to have deeper relationships with fewer people, usually the ones you work with.

However, it´s possible to extend the circle! Join office events and team events, and join friends of friend´s events!

Hope it helps!

Cheers,

Clara