What usually makes you willing/want to give someone a referral?

Hi,

For referrals, the main driver is trust and risk minimization. I’m most comfortable referring:

• People I know well and have seen perform
• Or people strongly recommended by someone I trust

At the end of the day, it’s less about “how impressive you are on paper” and more about how confident I am that you won’t underperform in the process.

On coffee chats, the best questions are always specific and thoughtful, not generic. Two good examples:

• “Looking back at your own recruiting process, what’s one mistake you made that I should avoid?”
• “What differentiates candidates who get offers from those who just perform well?”

These show you’re focused on actionable insights, not just general information.

Hope it helps,
Franco

hey there :)

for referrals, honestly I only referred people I actually knew and who I felt were genuinely nice and thoughtful to work with. beyond that, what matters is that someone is sharp, well-prepared, and clearly motivated for consulting. a great chat where the person asks good questions, listens well, and has a clear story already goes a long way.

best coffee chat question I’ve heard was something like “looking back, what differentiated the people who really thrived at your firm vs those who didn’t?” it shows real curiosity and helps you understand success factors, not just recruiting tips.

feel free to reach out if you want to practice networking chats :)

best,
Alessa :)

On referrals: one question decides it. Do I believe this person will make me look good if I put my name behind them.

A referral is a reputational bet. If they bomb, that reflects on me.

What moves me:

• They did their homework. They know the firm and why they specifically want to be there.
• They are clear about what they want. Vague ambition is forgettable.
• They made the conversation feel natural, not transactional.
• They followed up with a short, specific thank you. Not a template.

What I will not refer: someone who leads with the ask or makes the conversation feel like a checkbox exercise.

On the best coffee chat question I ever received: "What is the one thing you wish you had known before your first year in consulting that nobody told you."

Simple, personal, genuinely curious. It led to a real conversation instead of a rehearsed answer.

The best questions make the other person think. That is the whole point.

That's a really insightful question, and it gets to the heart of what makes networking effective in this industry.

For me, giving a referral isn't just about knowing someone – it's about putting my own reputation on the line. I'm essentially vouching for you to a hiring manager, so I need to be confident you're a strong candidate who will perform well and won't reflect poorly on me. This trust usually comes from seeing that you've done your homework, you're articulate, you genuinely understand what consulting entails, and you can clearly explain why this firm and role are the right fit. It’s less about simple likeability and more about a professional belief in your capability.

As for coffee chat questions, the best ones aren't necessarily the most complex, but rather those that show genuine curiosity and proactive thought. I've always appreciated questions that demonstrate someone has done their homework on me or on a specific firm project, or questions that ask me to reflect on an experience. For instance, "Looking back at your first 18 months, what's a skill you found surprisingly critical that wasn't on your radar coming in?" or "Given your recent project in X, what's a common trap you see clients fall into when approaching Y problem?" These kinds of questions encourage a real conversation and show you're thinking beyond surface-level details.

Hope this helps you strategize your next steps!

Hi there,

First, remember that this is a small world and life is long. In general, carry yourself high and hold yourself to the rules... people talk.

To answer your questions directly:

One referral only — pick the person you know best and/or the most senior.

I can't imagine someone referring you without knowing you... they have a reputation to uphold. But if you spoke on a call or coffee chat, they'd have enough to go off of.

Don't ask for a referral when first speaking to someone who gave you their time. If someone wants to refer you, they will. Asking prematurely can turn them off. Let it come from them.

On the best coffee chat question... I'll be honest. I'll refer someone if I like them, connected with them, and think they'll be a good fit at the firm. That's it. Keep it simple. No "amazing" question is going to change that... it's the whole call energy.

Good luck.

That's a great question. 

I would give a referral to somebody who seems genuinely interested in the role, qualified and who seems like the kind of person I would enjoy working with. 

Honestly, I think this is what most people look for. 

I've written a couple of materials that are specifically on getting referrals, since this is something many candidates struggle with. You can read them below for free:

Expert Guide: How To Handle Networking Calls and Get Referrals

Expert Guide: How To Get Referrals Via LinkedIn?

In case you have any questions, don't hesitate to reach out.

Best,
Cristian
 

Hi there,

It's a combination of me liking them as a person and believing in their capabilities.