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Ukasha

on Apr 07, 2021

Global

Is my cover letter too lengthy? What shall I keep and remove?

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Top answer

Florian

Coach

on Apr 07, 2021

Ex-McKinsey | 5+ years consulting experience | Active interviewer & coach | Healthcare industry | Inhouse Consulting

Hi Ukasha,

short answer: yes I think it is a bit long.

What I like about your cover letter is that it is very structured. However, not all points are equally relevant. Try to focus on the most important ones. Try to simplify the language to make it an easy read. Try to also think from the recruiter point of view. This is a cover letter and not a CV, i.e. list your skills, abilities, value to the company and do not put your past experience & achievements in the focus -> instead use your past as evidence for the value that you can bring in the future. This is a small but very important difference!

Furthermore, you need to improve the formatting. Either you consistently bold important aspects or you don't, but don't mix the style between paragraphs.

Please let me know if you have further questions or need a more detailed revision.

Cheers, Florian

Ian

Coach

on Apr 07, 2021

Top US BCG / MBB Coach - 5,000 sessions |Tech, Platinion, Big 4 | 9/9 personal interviews passed | 95% candidate success

Hi Ukasha,

Yes it is definitely too long.

Moreover, the formatting is quite unprofessional (you need a better template). Please do not randomly bold text as well!

I recognize you're trying to get free advice here on both Cover Letter and Resume, but you have more work to do on both than free Q&As will get you...if you can afford to, I'd highly recommend you book a coach!

Antonello

Coach

on Apr 08, 2021

McKinsey | NASA | top 10 FT MBA professor for consulting interviews | 6+ years of coaching

Hi Ukasha, I confirm it's too long. Happy to share some practical tips via PM on how to improve it

Best,
Antonello

Clara

Coach

on Apr 09, 2021

McKinsey | Awarded professor at Master in Management @ IE | MBA at MIT |+180 students coached | Integrated FIT Guide aut

Hello!

Unfortunately yes.

You need to de-word and also to remove the non-important prats.

Furthermore, the format is not the conventional one, I would advise you to get one of the "classical" ones -there are millions of good examples in the internet-.

Hope it helps!

Cheers,

Clara