Have I Introduced Myself Correctly?

Question

Hi, I am trying to prepare for job interviews, but my English is not good, is the grammatically correct below? In case I introduced myself.

My name is Emad, I graduated from the University of Petra, I have been awarded a

Degree of master of Business Administration with a very good grade,

also, I have been awarded a bachelor degree in E-Business & Commerce

with a good grade.

I have successfully completed training on Microsoft Access from Bradford Academy.

As for the skills, I have Proficiency in the use of computers.

Thank you.

Answer 1

Hi,

I believe you have problems with content. I doubt that Microsoft Access or proficiency in computers can help you get the job. Unless it's a joke:)

Answer 2

I would say if the grade is very good, mention honors list if you were on it or mention the actual GPA: it would stick more with the interviewer. Be more specfic in regards to what type of proficiency you have in use of computers

Answer 3

Hi Emad,

Sounds good except the part with computer proficiency.

Best, Andre