Hey, 

Please come out of your comfort zone and push yourself here. You cant get away by being behind the scenes or hidden or not visible. Consulting world wont be kind to you and that's the honest truth.

Start small by getting to know people you find easy to interact and build on from there. Other coaches have suggested some great tips, so I have nothing new to add.

All the best.

Hi!

The other coaches already gave you very valuable tips.

I want to add that being part of the group is essential to have a successful career in consulting.

If you don't feel comfortable with that, focus on whether this is what you're actually looking for.

Hope this helps.

Best,

Anto

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that!

I used to be quite shy/unconfident, so I hope I can help you here. Trust me, people are shocked today when they hear I was a shy, awkward, nerdy kid in High School and early college…if I can change myself so can you :)

I hope a few suggestions/thoughts:

1. How have you made friends in the past? Try whatever worked for you then
2. Just because you “failed” now, doesn't mean that can't change! It can literally change tomorrow if you want it to
3. Sign up for things. Are there events happening? Raise your hand! For example, when I interned in the Sydney office, there was a full-day hike group on Saturday. I signed up and, well, turns out hiking for a full day with a bunch of strangers turns into friend-making pretty quickly (including with a Partner at the firm)
4. Just try. Strike up conversation. Making a coffee and someone comes up waiting for the machine? Ask them how their day is going! Ask what project they're working on, how long they've been at the firm etc. You'll find that the first sentence/words are the hardest…then it's all downhill from there
5. Evaluate inaction versus action. What happens if you do nothing? Well, you'll stay miserable. What happens if you just start putting yourself out there? Well, it can only be better! The worst outcome is the current state…so just change it!

Good luck. You can do this :)

Hi there,

This is a complex question - and it is impossible to give you advice without knowing the specifics of the situation. The firm you are at, how long you have been there, how many projects you've done, your personality, your performance, what you really want from life… all of this really is critical when assessing this situation.

I've been at several consulting firms. I've been in and out of consulting, and then in again. I've seen multiple people, and I've experienced multiple things at all of those situations. 

So I am happy to chat in private about this if you want, and hopefully help you devise a plan that makes sense for you.

Cheers, and hang in there!

Hello,

I'm sorry to hear that you are having a hard time with this. The other experts have given you excellent advice here, but here are my additional two cents:

- Figure out what is at the heart of the issue: why do you feel unable to talk to others? Is it a language barrier, a cultural barrier (e.g. you feel like you can't relate or don't have anything to talk about), strong shyness, social anxiety, or something else? Is this something that only happens at work, or in other social settings too? Identifying the problem more specifically can help pinpoint the appropriate solution.

- If this issue has been ongoing for a while (rather than say, you just joined a new firm and are struggling fitting into a community where everyone knows each other already), it might be worth thinking about coaching/professional help. It is unclear from your description how acute the problem is (and certainly not my place to diagnose - I just mean it as something to think about!), but if your discomfort in social situations is severe, it might be worth looking into getting some help for navigating these environments. As other coaches have mentioned, socializing is a key component to a successful consulting career, and there are proven ways to help you become successful in it even if you feel shy at first.

- If it is uncomfortable but not severely acute, I would recommend a fake-it-till-you-make-it approach! It will feel awkward at first, but before long you will get used to it. Step up, make an effort, and it will become second nature very soon.

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